Micah 6:6-8

"But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what GOD is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don't take yourself too seriously-take God seriously."







Monday, December 17, 2007

What day is it?

This weekend was full of Christmas parties. I left the house at 6 on Friday night got home at 3 Saturday afternoon. We had another party Sat night. Yesterday was our Christmas Cantata and an afternoon full of family and more parties. It was a great weekend, but I'm tired. Today? Shopping. I need to get this finished. So here are a few pics from the weekend. Hopefully, more soon. Have a great weekend!





I mean seriously, she looks just like her Daddy.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Christmas Miracle

I talked to my good Iowa friend Candy the other day. I simply must share our conversation with you.
Many years ago, when Candy was a single mom, her seven year old son Rick fell out of a tree. He landed flat on his back on the concrete. The other kids ran in and got Candy. She raced to his side. After realizing he could move, but was in a lot of pain, she scooped Rick in her arms and got him to the ER. The doctor came out and told Candy that Rick had major internal bleeding. They needed to do emergency surgery, but he was not hopeful that the surgery would be successful. The doctor suggested that Candy tell her son goodbye before he went to surgery. Candy spent the next few moments with Rick. She left his room. They were taking him to one final scan and then to the OR. Candy was told to go to the surgery waiting room. Candy was alone. She tried to go to the waiting room, but she fell on her knees in the middle of the hallway and prayed. Candy prayed and begged God to heal Rick. After a while, the Dr. found Candy, still on her knees in the hallway. He bent down beside her and asked if she believed in miracles. She said yes. The Dr. informed her that during Rick's final scan they couldn't find blood anywhere. It appeared as if his internal bleeding had stopped. They were going to keep him and run tests. Four days later, Candy took her healthy son home.

Fast forward fifteen plus years. Candy's other son, Davie currently lives in California with his wife, Chelsey, and son. They are expecting another son. Last Monday night, Candy awoke in the middle of the night thinking she needed to tell Chelsey the story of Rick falling out of the tree. She decided to wait until the next day. When she awoke in the morning, this consumed her. She decided after work she would call. When she got off work on Tuesday, she drove to K-Mart and listened to a voice mail she had received from Chelsey. Candy called her back. Chelsey told Candy the doctors have found something wrong with the baby. She said there is a huge bubble in the amniotic fluid and they aren't sure what it is. And, some blood tests indicated the baby may have Downs syndrome. They were supposed to have an amnio later this week. Chelsey was scared. Candy was scared. Candy then shared with Chelsey the story of Rick and how she woke up last night thinking she needed to share this with Chelsey. They hung up both praying for a miracle for this baby. Candy went into K-Mart. As she walked, she again became overwhelmed. Right in the middle of the Martha Stewart isle, she fell to her knees and prayed. She was sobbing and praying when a K-Mart employee approached her and asked if she was alright. Candy told the worker about the baby and how she just needed to pray. The employee asked if she could pray with her. The employee got down on her knees beside of Candy and prayed for this baby. Through their tears, they asked God for healing. As they stood up, the employee asked Candy her name. Candy told her as she glanced at the employees name tag. It said, Angel. Candy told her she was her Angel today. The employee said Candy was sweet, like Candy, and promised to continue praying for the baby. Candy finished shopping and checked out. She decided to find the manager and tell him about the great employee he had. She found him and explained the story. The manager just looked at Candy and stated, "lady, we don't have anyone who works here named Angel." "No one?" Candy said. "No, not named Angel. We have an Angela but she is a high schooler so she's not working right now." Candy said, "no this lady was older with gray and red hair." No one with that description works at K-Mart.

Last Tuesday, Candy prayed with an Angel. Sometimes, we entertain Angel's without knowing it, other times, God puts their name right on their chest, and we still don't know. Candy knelt down with God's messenger. She was in awe. But there's more. That sweet little baby and his mom had more tests last week. The amnio showed he does not have Downs and that weird bubble, is almost completely gone. Candy was not surprised. She knew the miracle would happen. After all, she prayed with an angel.

May God bless you all with the knowledge that He can interrupt our lives with His messengers anytime. I wonder how many Angels you saw today?

Saturday, December 08, 2007

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Kinda.

We have our decorations. We have many presents purchased. Our calendar is full of parties, caroling, and outreaches. Our house smells like cinnamon, (thanks to the Yankee candle company, not cooking). Yet I am having a difficult time remembering that it is Christmas time. Mostly because we were all outside today playing in short sleeve shirts. It's warm, and tomorrow it is supposed to be 80. Don't get me wrong, I love the weather. It may look like Christmas at our house, but it doesn't feel cold enough for it. We watched Christmas movies tonight drinking cold drinks instead of hot chocolate. Ahhh...this I could get used to.

But, since I am missing the snow, Melonie sent me a picture of WV last week. We have it up on our desktop to help Chris and me get more into Christmas decorations. Thanks Melonie,it was so much fun to get this, I love you...Merry Christmas!!!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A great weekend

This past weekend we went to Brunswick, GA for Homecoming at the AC church. This is where Chris grew up so I had a blast hearing stories about him. It was so neat for me to meet the church people. I could quickly tell that he grew up there simply from watching their mannerisms and how they worshipped God. I'm so thankful for people who invest in children. Chris' love for God is, in part, from their dedication to God and Chris.

Natalie and I also got to meet Stephen. He was Chris' absolute best friend in High School. We spent the day with Stephen, his wife, Chrissy, and their daughter Katie. Katie is a month older then Natalie. It was really cute watching Katie and Natalie play and fight together. I can't thank Stephen and Chrissy enough for welcoming us into their home this weekend. We had a great time. Here are a few pics from the weekend. Enjoy!

Did you know those four holes in a baby swing fit two toddlers perfectly? It was funny to watch those Natalie waiver between laughter and being a little scared...Katie was all smiles...




They loved to slide down together and for just a minute, they switched Daddy's...




And finally, one of little miss sitting underneath the tree, eating her crackers. Does life get any better then this?

Friday, November 30, 2007

A busy time

I know all of us are super busy since we are now between two huge holidays. We are out of town again this weekend and we return to the madness that is Christmas. I'm praying to remember who it is we are celebrating this time of year.

And by the way, LET'S GO MOUNTAINEERS!!! I expect that you all will be cheering for them this weekend! :-)



This is Natalie assisting us with Christmas decorations, she's still not too sure what to make of all this.



And a couple of Natalie in her Christmas dress...





Finally, one that is always fun to take, she is finally still when she is sleeping...



Have a great weekend...and Merry Christmas!!!

Monday, November 26, 2007

passions-chapter one

I am getting irritated with the word, “passion.” If there is ever a point in your life that you must say you are passionate about something then the passion is gone. People should see by your actions that you are passionate. Passion is something to be lived out, not declared.

Passion is one of THOSE words. You know, the words overused and misused by Christians everywhere. One of those words we snatch out of the air and hold onto for dear life, pretending it holds the key to evangelism. Those words we hide behind again and again so we do not actually have to get out there. You have been to those meetings right? “We need to figure out what we are passionate about.” “We shouldn’t move on anything until we pray and see if this is God’s passion for our church.” “Let’s take this inventory, it will tell us what we are passionate about.” We sit and talk our passions to death. This convinces me they were never passions to begin with.

Passions are powerful. They compel us. I am always confused that we would have to determine what compels us. It’s a look backward at our life that shows us our passion. This is what bothers us. We are more comfortable believing we do not have time for our passions. We prefer to think that if it were not for real life we could be more passionate. This is a faulty thought. Something compels us everyday. Something. That something is what you are passionate about. If you are not currently acting on your passion, then it is not passion. It can’t be simply because it is not compelling us to action. Someone will counter this by stating they “have to go to work” even though they hate it. They will say this prevents them from doing something they love because they are at a point in their lives in which they must stay at their hated jobs. Then these people have to take another step backwards to find their passion. Why are they staying at jobs they hate? Does it pay the bills so their kids are secure and cared for? So this person in the hated job does have a passion. Their children compel them to work. They are passionate about their children.

We do not have to sit in a meeting or take a test to determine our passions. We are all compelled by something. Passions guide us and our actions. Passion influences every decision we make. I heard a man a few weeks ago state that he is passionate about music. This man does not participate in anything with music. He has casual conversations occasionally with musicians. He is not truly connected to anyone in the music world. Yet, he claims to be passionate about singing. What is unfortunate is this man is very involved in visiting people who are sick or dying. He is constantly checking on families and staying connected with their needs. God has gifted Him with the ability to walk with these people. They are his unacknowledged passion. He claims to be passionate about something he has no part of, yet does not recognize his gift; his true passion. Why? I have no idea.

We refer to the crucifixion as The Passion. Christ’s love for us compelled Him to come to earth. He walked with us. He wrapped Himself up in our bodies and planted His toes in our world. He saw life through eyes that were forced to squint from the sun He created. Jesus was so passionate about us. He became us just to save us. Jesus did not come to earth and suddenly decide He loved us. His love for us compelled Him to come. That compulsion for us killed Him. He is passionate about our salvation. Our salvation did not come before His passion. The Passion.

God created you. God knows how you are wired. He knows what you are made of. He gives you passions. If you know Jesus as Savior then you have Spirit led passions in your entire being, because the Holy Spirit is your entire being. Do not ever allow yourself to be fooled into thinking you are passionate about something you are not a part of. I can tell myself I am passionate about evangelism all day long. The fact is, I have not witnessed to anyone this week. I was more passionate about my family and eating than evangelism. I may want to be passionate about evangelism. If so, I need to start praying that God will compel me towards this. I will never be able to compel myself. However, before I start praying for new passions, I must look at what I am already compassionate about. I talked with some middle school girls for a while yesterday. I worked on a drama for church. I spent time with my husband and daughter. I’m passionate about family. I’m passionate about equipping believers. Maybe one of the believers God allows me to equip will be passionate about evangelism. Maybe, just maybe, our current passions are God given for reasons we don’t know.

It’s long past time to reevaluate our use of this word. Passions compel us to actions. If you do not like your current actions, you need to talk with God about your compulsions. Let’s stop pretending we will be passionate tomorrow. We are passionate today. Let’s stop acting like we all need to be passionate about the same thing. When we are truly following God, He gives us our passions based on how He carved our being. Our passions are from Him. It’s time to shred the inventory tests and put up the table and chairs. We don’t need a meeting to talk about passion. We need the author of The Passion to compel us to the actions He created us for.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

almost tomorrow...

All week I've been telling myself just get to Sunday. Sunday we leave from church and hit the road for home. Neither Chris nor I have been with our parents on Thanksgiving in years. This year we have the privilege of spending it with both of our parents. Candy and Frank are driving up to join the family for a couple of days too. We are planning to have about 25-30 people eating together on Thursday. There is no where else I'd rather be. The entire time we lived in Iowa I was always so glad God allowed us to be a part of the Thanksgiving Dinner for the community. Our church held a dinner for anyone who wanted to come. It was wonderful to be a part of that. But, it was also the day I was most homesick. My family all tends to get together for Thanksgiving. They would call and all talk to us, but somehow, that made it worse. I say all that to say I can't wait for this week. We will be with friends we haven't seen in far too long, people we want to talk with, and a little girl to introduce to some of her family. Even the idea of driving up there tomorrow is appealing. Chris and I haven't really had a chance to talk all week. I'm hoping Natalie will nap for a few hours and we can catch up on some conversations. I am so blessed and so grateful. Oddly enough, a little homesick too. Thursday, when we are all gathered around our table I have no doubt my mind will travel to the mid west and I'll wonder how the dinner is going for the community. That will always be home too.
You know, we can dream of mansions and streets of gold all day long...I can't wait to be at the wedding feast with Jesus, finally sitting at the table with Him. I can picture my Iowa friends, Sweden friends, Europe friends, Milligan friends, people I've never met, family, all gathered, at last, eating from the same table. I can only imagine my anticipation for the day can not touch Christ's anticipation. He will be allowed to gather all who love Him to the table. And while there will be people present that I didn't know in this life, He will intimately know us all. Our minds won't wander anywhere. We will be home. Finally. We will be home.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Good job...

I'm so tired. I like working at hospice, but it absolutely exhausts every part of my being. Not so much the patients as the company. There is SO much to learn. It's huge. Since I'm PRN (as needed) I end up on a variety of teams. I feel like every time I work I'm doing something I haven't done before. I've been there four months and I still do new things all the time. Someone told me that full time people work there a year, sometimes, two before they feel good. I'm not sure what that means for me. I would just like to work one job where I feel competent. I'm constantly guessing what I should do there. I come home and I guess what would be best for Natalie. I feel like we've been making that up since day one. I guess about cooking, about church, about cleaning, about the dogs. My list goes on and on. I would just like to find one thing that I can look at and immediatly think, "I can do this...this is something I am comfortable with." The good news is, this all forces me to rely on God more and more and more. The bad news is, relying on Him isn't something I'm always good with either. So I've kicked around the idea of getting another job. I want to work at Starbucks. I'm thinking after Christmas, I'm getting a job that I can learn to do well. I'm working at the Gap or Babies R Us or Starbucks. People may laugh, but I'm not kidding. I want to go home at night and be done. I want to say it was a good day and mean it. I want the pound of coffee for free for being a barista at Starbucks. Did I mention I'm tired?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Miss Beth



Dear Miss Beth,

My Mommy told me that you were going to see the doctor this week.I wanted to tell you that Mommy, Daddy, and me are praying very hard for you. I also wanted to ask all the people reading this to pray for Miss Beth too. She was my day care teacher in Villisca and one of my Mommy's best friends there. My mommy still gets sad dropping me off at day care here. They take really good care of me, but you will always be her favorite...( and mine too Miss Beth.) My mommy said you have colon cancer, but that God is much, much, bigger then colon cancer. Mommy said that Miss Beth is going to the cancer treatment center in Chicago this week, so everybody please pray that she will be healed in such a way that everyone present will know God healed her. God already has you Miss Beth, I'm praying you see Him very clearly today. We all love you very, very, much.

Grace,
Natalie

Sunday, November 04, 2007

39

They are both 39.

They are both female.

She has two children, 12 and 6.

She has one child in his teens.

She is dying.

She is also dying.

She was diagnosed four years ago.

She collapsed four weeks ago.

She is trying to reconcile faith of a mustard seed, with doctors who say there is no hope.

She is wresting with a whole different type of despair.

She is trying to prepare her children for a life without her.

She has not seen her son in a very long time.

She knows that no one can or will ever love her children like she does.

She knows someone else has already been loving her son.

She and I talked about faith, love, hope, and heaven.

I held her hand and encouraged her step father to talk to her, she can maybe still hear you.

She is fighting, fighting, fighting.

She has already fought.

She is dying of breast cancer.

She is dying of liver failure.

She could not have prevented this.

She has been addicted to cocaine and alcohol for as long as anyone can remember.

She needs better treatment.

She needs better treatment.

She needs to know God still loves her.

She needs to know He always has.

No one expected her to die so young.

No one expected her to live so long.

No wonder God calls death the enemy.

Death robs anyone when it is least expected.

She is ready.

I don't know if she is.

Are you?

Thursday, November 01, 2007

A halloween tale

The night began with Natalie saying, "you want me to do what?"


"I'm out of here"



Okay Mom I'll let you take one quick picture...



Mommy and the bee...



Hershey's are awesome!



I know a lot of pictures, but we had a lot of fun. We went trick or treating with Robert, Emily, and Avery. I'll post some pics of Avery and Natalie together soon. Happy November and happy 16 month birthday Natalie!!!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Top 10

Here are the top ten things I've learned from Natalie today:

1. Someone can both torture and love our dog, Mocha. Mocha will continue to return to you either way.

2. You can either brush your teeth the traditional way, moving the brush back and forth in your mouth, or to spice things up, you can hold the brush in your mouth and move your head back and forth. Both will equally clean your teeth. One leaves you a bit dizzy.

3. I am shocked at how many times she can ask, "was daaat?" I am more shocked when she repeats whatever answer I just said.

4. Miss Hazel at day care is an angel who probably answers "was daat?" more often and more patiently then I ever will.



5. Everything is new, every morning, every hour, every minute. Just because you get an answer to, "was daat?" does not mean you should stop pointing at the same object and asking again.

6. I am not the Mom I thought I would be. She does scream in restaurants, Target, the parking lot, and at church.

7. Polite comments from onlookers explaining to me what she wants are not helpful. I know she wants to eat the mac and cheese with her hands. Your right that is why she is upset. My job is to teach her to use her spoon. Yes, she does know how. Yes, she eats with it at home. Yes, if you leave me alone I can continue ignoring this tantrum.

8. If you don't feel like using your spoon, just wear Minnie Mouse Ears, no one will notice your eating with your hands.




9. Natalie is her father's daughter. A flashlight can double as a microphone, and when she starts singing into it, you had better dance.

10. Two tiny little fist grabbing onto mine, with her head bowed to say bedtime prayers followed by a slobbery wet kiss, makes me think, for just a second, that I might, just might, survive this.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

some recent pictures






I prayed that God would allow me to upload some pictures tonight. I've been having a hard time doing this lately, and He answered my prayer. I know in the grand scheme of all that God is thinking about and doing this was a small request, but He answered. I think sometimes He answers small prayers of mine to remind me that He is always working and listening.
The Halloween costume is one my Aunt got for Natalie. It is already too small so we put it on her for pictures. It's an interesting unicorn outfit. For Halloween, Natalie will be a bumblebee like her older cousins, Mollie and Xander. Fortunately, this outfit still fits. Earlier this week she was wearing a 24 month outfit. I'm not sure where her height comes from, but I hope she keeps it. I'm not so secretly hoping she'll love basketball as much as I do. Anyways, today has been a good day. Thursday's are Chris' days off. I try to not work on Thursdays either. This has quickly become my favorite day of the week. We get to hang out with Natalie together. We get to swap stories from the week and just be. I love it. Today none of us got out of our pajamas until after 2 this afternoon. To me, that's a perfect sort of day. Have a great one and ask God to show you something today. He is good.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

a week

This past week is all blurry. It's one of those weeks where you have to stop and really try to remember what you did yesterday, much less Monday. It's been a good week, a sad week, and a hard week. It's a week when I learned how Megan became so accustomed to death because I am as well. I don't think hospice makes you cold. I think it makes you aware. Working with people who know they are dying makes me keenly aware of what is and is not important. It's a constant reminder that nothing in this life is constant. Lives are turned upside down by one lump, one cough, one different heartbeat. I met a 38 year old dying of breast cancer. We are told to get yearly mamagrams after 40. I meet smokers who wish they never started, and smokers who are still enveloped in the cloud. I meet people with dementia and end stage alzheimers. Their families tell their stories. Their eyes tell me they are still alive inside. I always use to think I didn't want to die this way. I didn't want to be sick. And really, I don't want to die at all. But in a way, these people have a gift. As one patient told me this week, "I know this is the last birthday party I'll be a part of for my granddaughter." This one will be big. He told me he is blessed to know, so he can really live. Imagine if we all knew. I'm not sure I could handle it, but it would make each of us really live. Since working here, I'm more intentional with those around me. I pay attention better and say "I love you" more. I'm finding myself craving time with Chris more then ever, and not fighting bedtime so much with Natalie. Is it really that big a deal that I snuggle her a little longer? Will it really mess up her sleep habits for the rest of her life? I don't think so. So that's the sad, the good, and the hard for the week. It's life. Funny that I have to be face to face with people who are dying to remind me to live. Try it this week. Live like you know you are mortal. I dare you.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Natalie's BFF

These pics are from Liza...who graciously always has her camera ready when we forget ours. Thanks Liza for taking good care of us...we love you!



Avery lives just down the street...we are thinking they are already planning many adventures together...

I am having trouble getting any other pics uploaded to blogger lately. I'll keep trying. Have a great week!

Monday, October 08, 2007

what if?

What if nothing we are thinking right now is new? What if we are having the exact same arguments in the church today that they had a generation ago? What if people came to America because they wanted the right to worship as they chose? What if ancient philosphers wrote on paper because blogger was not yet available? What if the disciples caused a shake up everywhere they went? What if the early church fought about eating, songs, and money? Have we seriously in 2000 plus years not gotten anywhere? I would dare say that no generation set out to be fake. They probably didn't start out to judge and exclude. Yet, each new generation seeks to break out of the mold of the church and start something new. My question is then, is it...new? I talk to people now who are as opposed to hymns as some people are to choruses. Isn't that just as bad? Others who cannot fathom why someone would not like something they love. Do they have to? I mean where in the world do we come up with the idea that we should all believe the same and like the same and anyone who opposes us is wrong? One of my favorite quotes from women of faith says, "I should think that if we agree on everything, one of us is unnecessary." Unity by it's necissity would imply we don't agree on everything. Jesus prayed we would be one...I believe he meant one body. All important. All working toward the goal. All doing it differently because the eye and the ear will never do things the same. They always filter information differently. They will respond differently. Our goal is to love God, love others, and make disciples. The eye can worship through color and the written word, and the vastness of the world. The ear can not do any of these things. The ear can worship through the spoken word, music, and the vastness of noise and silence. Both can be and are connected to the head but are not the same. What if we acted like one body? What if for the first time in 2,000 years we really were unified? What if we celebrated our differneces and walked in unity? What if stopped being shocked by non christians acting like non christians? What if our big unified body grabbed them by the hand and walked with those people for while...just walking them towards God? What would God allow us to be a part of then? You know, then, when we are actually loving Him because we are loving others because we are walking them to Him. What if then?

Sunday, September 30, 2007

My big girl

We keep looking at Natalie and wondering where the baby went? She is speaking more and more everyday. We moved her from her crib last week because she was too long and kept waking up all the time. She has slept much better in the toddler bed. That may be because she is no longer taking medicine she is allergic to, but we'll say it's the new bed. :-) Natalie is still itchy, but she is doing better. Anyways, here are a couple recent pictures. I have a bunch of stuff to say, but it's forming in my head, so I'll write more later this week.


Saturday, September 29, 2007

Doctor says

Ear infection + amoxicillin + Natalie =






So, nothing in the penicillin family and round the clock benadryl for this baby...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

being cynical




I have been praying this month. On a regular basis I have asked God to help me be less cynical. I enjoy being sarcastic. Somewhere along the lines this has turned into cynicism. It's not a characteristic I recognized in myself. However, it has been pointed out to me on a regular basis, by well meaning sarcastic people. When I realized this about myself, I prayed. I wanted to be less cynical. I believed that cynical is one step away from critical. I don't want to become the person that criticizes and critiques everything I see anyone else doing. I don't like that person. Oops, I mean I would like to not be that person. So in my praying and searching I had the fabulous idea of looking up the definition of cynical. It is "Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others" or another definition is " a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view". After reading the definitions and the Bible, I'm wondering aloud, is it bad to be cynical? I mean Jesus had to come because we are selfish and flawed people. If any of us are only motivated by human actions we can be nothing but selfish. Spirit filled actions are different. They are the antonym of selfish. Those actions are filled by love. Love is not selfish. Love listens. It's motive is only to love unconditionally. I am becoming more okay with cynicism if it is spirit led. My prayer has changed. I'm praying for discernment and wisdom. If someone is motivated purely by themselves, I'm praying to see it. We all should be. Nothing good comes from us. God is good. We are fallen, broken, bleeding, hurt people. We are so incapable of helping ourselves; how can I possibly help anyone else on my own? I'm praying to be spirit led. To walk with God. To radiate unconditional love to those He brings into my path. I might hang on to the sarcasm though. I think it is a God given creativity to force people to see the world differently, hopefully while they are laughing. If you just sneered at me, you too my friend might be cynical. The question then is this, do I want to hang on to my sarcasm out of spirit led reasons or fleshly ones? This my friend will be the question.

Monday, September 17, 2007

This makes my heart happy

When I was little, Monk-Monk went with me everywhere. My family can recall exactly what he looks like. My college roommates mocked him and my Iowa friends said he is scary. And, well, he is old, but he is still my favorite. When my mom was at the hospital having DJ, my grandma and I were performing "surgery" on Monk-Monk. This is one of my first memories. He needed more stuffing, poor monkey was falling apart. This monkey has a special place in my heart. After Natalie was born DJ and Sarah went in search of a monkey for her. They found one and I loved it. But, I decided to let her choose her own favoirte toy. For months now she has played with everything, and not had any particular favorite. That all changed this week. Suddenly Monkey did what Monkeys do and he won out over all the other toys. He now must accompany her around the house. We feed him and kiss him. Most importantly, Monkey is by her side in her crib. For this very moment I am so happy he has won. Natalie does not look a thing like me, but it's nice to know my quirky behavior is somewhere tucked inside her.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Life with Chris



I'm sorry it's been a week since I've written. Things here have been quite busy. It's been more difficult then I thought it would be to get used to working again. Natalie is loving day care. She is Miss Independent.

Chris, my do everything in a big way husband, decided it would be fun to go the ER yesterday. Now for those of you who know him, his body is weird. I mean that literally. When he was in high school, he was sent to the ER with chest pains, stomach pains, and his left arm was tingling. He thought he was having a heart attack. A long story later, his family doctor discovered he had strep. Apparently some "rare" individuals show these symptoms to strep rather then having a sore throat. Because of his rarity, I tend to not have much sympathy for him when he is sick. So fast forward to Wednesday of this week, when he comes home complaining of mid to low back pain. He is walking like an old man imitating John Wayne. He was nauseous and had a fever. By yesterday morning he thought he was better. But, by early afternoon, he had a bad headache, along with a backache, and a fever now to 103.1 So, we go to an urgent care since neither of us have bothered to get primary care doctors yet. They are immediately concerned about his kidneys. Now, I'm getting more sympathetic. Kidney stones made my dad cry. I've seen him cry twice. They do some test and the nurse practitioner comes back in the room and says, "I'm sending you to the ER". My stomach sank. My growing sympathy turned to genuine concern. So off we go. Of course, we wait forever in the ER. We sat in the post triage waiting room with half a dozen other people, including one ADHD kid with a head injury from a car wreck. Then they bring in a nice lady in a wheel chair. Right after they parked her, she starts throwing up everywhere. The triage nurse says, "Get some help in here." I jump up. One- I don't deal with throw up well, Two, I'm the only one in the room who does not currently have a broken foot, headache, or ADHD. Surely I can get help. I step out of the room and look at three nurses behind the station and say, "uh, we need some help in there." They all stare at me. Nothing. Finally one says in a very condescending manner, "who needs help?" I didn't have time to be social worky on them and explain that it doesn't matter who they should jump simply at the words help. So I simply said in my best non sarcastic, your going to treat my husband so I'll be nice voice, "There is a lady throwing up and can't stand and the triage lady asked me to get some help." Ahhh, the magic words, they got up and ran in. Log into memory, people run in an ER when the words "triage nurse needs help" are stated. Anyways, now we are in the hallway with our ADHD child. Even more fun. Finally after one and half episodes of Charmed, we get called back. Chris who is still walking like John Wayne just really wants to lay down. He does for a second, then moves to the recliner. Another thirty minutes later, the doctor comes in. He looks at Chris, talks for a while, and is also concerned about his kidneys or gallbladder. He decides to run a few test and look Chris over really well. So he does find something. It doesn't fit with any symptoms and all the test came back normal. My husband, the one with severe back pain and horrible headache. Yeah, he has an ear infection. And, no, his ear does not hurt.

Moral of the story is, if any of you are ever around Chris and he complains that his toe is hurting him. Please start CPR. I'm certain he'll be having a heart attack.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

New video

Here is another video of Natalie. I know a couple of people had some trouble opening the last one. It should open in Windows Media Player. I don't know enough about this stuff to tell anyone how to open it another way. But, many of you say the last one and while we have a free subscription, I'm going to use it. :-)
praying 1.wmv
We have a super busy weekend coming, but I'll fill everyone in on life after we get back. Have a great weekend and enjoy this video.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

How do we get there from here?

I want community. I want to be challenged. I want to love deeply and genuinely care for others. I want to be a part of a group of people who walk together. I'm tired of church. I'm tired of games. I don't want to walk around the same corners as everyone before me and pass "go" all over again. I want LIFE and I want it abundantly. This past Sunday as I saw people gather around a nine year old who had just lost her father, I thought, "this is the body, this is what Jesus was talking about." How do we keep walking with her? How about the girl on the street, in Wal-mart, at the mall, the one in the pew in front of me? Does she yearn for community too? Is there something she wants to share. I believe small group studies go on for hours for a million reasons. One is that we just want to share our stories. In a world of so many ways to communicate, we have lost our ability to connect. I think many of us are realizing that. We want sit, eat, drink coffee, and just talk. It's not new. 50 years ago the women called it quiliting. I don't think that sat together in a room and said nothing. They played games in the yard and neighbors actually knew each other names. No, our generation doesn't want anything real radical. We just want to recapture what was lost in Gen X's pursuit of independence. We recognize it is okay to be dependent on each other. To be dependent on God. We are comfortable with saying "I don't know." We agree to pray and usually, we mean it. And, we will not accept or tolerate fake. We'll see right through you. We have been for years. Maybe the church is scared of postmoderns because of this. We were cute for a long time. Now, we are "young adults." The church overall seems to have a difficult time attracting us. I wonder when they'll realize that if you try to attract us, you will repel us. Wooing us to a building is fake. Wooing us to a relationship is real. It's never about programs, curriculum, service times, or basketball. It's about relationships. It always has been. We aren't radical. We are just reminding everyone that Jesus is a who. Who wants to meet him with us?

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Smart baby

Hey, I've never posted a video here before, but we'll see if this works. We taught Natalie to count to three today...we think she's pretty smart. Have a great week!

123

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I love Uncle DJ and Aunt Sarah

Dear Uncle DJ and Aunt Sarah,
I want you to know I was almost stripped at church on Sunday for wearing this outfit. Many Gator people mistook it for a Georgia Bulldogs outfit. Once they saw the Reds they spared me. I left with my dress still on and I did look super cute. Daddy says he only let me wear it because Mr. Ryan was in town too. Mommy said I could wear it when I wanted. I love you both!
Natalie (the best niece in the world)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I'm a walking oxymoron...


An excerpt from my prayer journal. A rare glimpse into the crazy, swirling, thoughts inside my head.

8-13-07

"Dear Father,

Let's get real. Well, you're always real~I'm great at pretend. I'm a walking oxymoron. I've always wanted to work in a hospice. I love the city. I can do anything. All I want is to stay home with Natalie. I have to get out of the house. I trust you to provide money. I must get out and make some money. I hate the city. I miss Iowa. I hate the state of Iowa. I miss all the people in Iowa. Except her. I should love her and forgive her, but I haven't and I don't. I miss all my friends in WV. I only have a few friends. I want more friends. I don't want to spend the time it takes to build real relationships. I want to be authentic. I like my big, tall, walls. Seriously, what is wrong with me? I am so wishy-washy all of the time. I need you Lord. You are the only constant thing in my life. And, even, with you ~I crave everything about you ~ yet I so easily wander and lose focus. Heather said 'only you can change my heart.' 'Only you can change my heart.' 'Only you can change my heart.'

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\____________________________

Only you. Only you. How do I give it to you to change? Do I have to? Will you just take it? Please? I'm slow. I'm unresponsive. I grab onto you for the shock. We get a good rhythm and I get up and move. I don't want to move anymore. I need you. Please keep me Lord. Please save me...from myself. I know I was created in your image to bring you glory. Please make me look more like you and most of all forgive me. Please always and daily be my Savior. Please make me bring you glory. Thank you that you are God. Thank you most of all that I am not. You are God. I'm an oxymoron.

In Jesus' name,
Amen"

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Two pictures...



Today has been a good day. Have a great week!

Friday, August 10, 2007

8 random things

The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules. (if you don't have a blog, email me)
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read their blog.

Before I tell you 8 random facts about me I must tell you that we spent the last couple of days with Grandmama, Natalie's Great-Grandmama. We had a lot of fun with the family and can't wait to make it back over soon. Natalie is talking more and more. She learned to say "shshshoes" the other day. Chris is already clutching his wallet quite tightly. She also says "bubbles" and "uh-oh". We thought uh-oh was so cute, but since she is using it appropriately, I'm learning to jump fast when she says this. Here are the pics and then, hang on for the random facts.


Natalie eating breakfast with Aunt Pam. Natalie is a big eater and this was her third breakfast of the morning.









Grandmama and Natalie are having a good time looking at each other. Natalie is giving out a kiss in the next picture.




Natalie is attacking Dustin...then the Jack in the Box is attacking Natalie. She thought this thing was hilarious, but she a little afraid too...














8 Random Facts about me...

1. I rarely ever drive with my shoes on...

2. I discovered yesterday that jelly fish really do sting every part of your body they touch.

3. I cannot run effectively in water.

4. I hate go carts.

5. I do not like any creature that God created on the fifth day. If it has wings or scales, I have no need for it.

6. I hardly ever use a pillow.

7. I always check the protein content of my chocolate, it makes me feel better.

8. I sleep with Christopher Robin ;-)

Now, I'm tagging Mom, Dad, DJ, Sarah, Beth, Scott D., Aunt Martha, and finally, my hubby. I'd better here back from you all! (For anyone interested, click on Megan, she has the best list.)

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Miracle Bash

Yesterday we had a back to school bash at the church. I should say, God had a back to school bash at the church. He blessed us by allowing us to bask in His presence. He brought over 1500 people to the church. He gave away 680 backpacks, complete with school supplies each child would need. He gave away clothes and shoes and jewelery. He gave away modern day loaves and fishes that we call hot dogs and hamburgers. He fed over 1300 people, and we had just enough left over. People walked into the door and asked Ms. Alma and me,
"are the school supplies really free?"

"yes."

How bout the clothes, are they really free?"

"yes, it's all free."

"Even the snow cones, the hot dogs, and the Bibles."

"Definitely, free, enjoy your day."

"The inside games, the face painting and stuff."

"Seriously, no strings, it's all free have fun."

That conversation was repeated literally a thousand times. I can't tell you how many miracles we each saw yesterday. We had mostly the same backpacks, with a few exceptions. We had all the same ones left for the middle schoolers. I picked up the bag and handed it to a cute 6th grader. As I picked it up, there was a backpack underneath I hadn't seen before. He stopped, stared, and said, "mam, can I have that one, that's the one I've been wanting." My answer, "yes, God put it here just for you today." I've never seen brighter eyes. God gave a homeless woman school supplies for her kids, clothes, food, and most of all hope." We're going to keep working with her. Parents that can't afford to take their kids on vacation, thanked workers countless times for the day. They told us their kids NEVER get to do anything like this because they can't afford it. And, there was the woman who came to church this morning. I had the privilege of sitting next to her. She thanked the church for the supplies for her grand kids. And for the baby stuff for her daughter's child, due in a few months. She said she had to come and see these people today who loved others so much. Miracle, after miracle, after miracle. We did nothing fancy. We gave out free food, free clothes, and free school supplies. We had games. God, He did all the fancy stuff. He made backpacks appear and kept the food and drinks coming. He gave out the laughter and the music. He painted faces and handed out His word. He laughed, hugged, kissed, and talked. He is God, and He showed up to do what God does. Miracles. One man asked why everything was free. Our go to guy-Paul-said because God's love, it's free.

Free. Miracles for the taking... Anyone interested? ;-)


Some pics from the day...
PS. We had four huge slides, sitting on our retention pond. We had a lot of rain this week. This ground should have had several inches of water standing it after all the rain Friday. On Saturday morning it was dry...lots of miracles.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Natalie Blue Eyes



Just a few pics from this weekend. Natalie enjoys tormenting Lexi (black dog) and Mocha. Lexi takes anything, we should have named her Eeyore. Mocha isn't so sure about Natalie. Have a great day!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

"Deep fried baby Jesus"

Well, now that I have your attention. This "title" came about last weekend when our friends, Heather and Amy were here. To set the mood, we had been together all weekend, had numerous alter universe experiences, and laughed a ton. This leads us to Sunday night and tired. Tired being the place where all good spiritual conversations get their start. As we were discussing different denominations, Heather said that she believes Oprah is the pastor of the largest church in America. I agreed and said that I believe Oprah's theology is a bit like the movie Runaway Bride. In the movie, Julia Robert's character always likes her eggs the same way that her boyfriend does. I said I think Oprah is like this with Jesus. She appears to have a varying relationship with him based on who she is talking with. Mix this conversation in with a little Taladagga Nights and you get "deep fried baby Jesus." All joking aside, I've rolled this around in my head a lot this week. As Christians we tend to conform Jesus to our ideas, rather then conforming our ideas to Jesus' standard. If I want to do something questionable today, say a sin, I scramble Jesus. I say He is confusing, contradictory and hard to understand. If I'm angry I throw Him into the pot and boil Him. I yell and scream and pretend that He told me this life would be easy, when He in fact, told me the opposite. Sometimes, we even dress Jesus up to look appealing. Very, very audacious of us. We sprinkle bread crumbs on emotions and throw Him into the grease when it's hot. We wait until people are tired and we talk about hell and grandma waiting for us in heaven and we guilt people into conversions, but not relationships. We start as spiritual babies and we are too content to allow others to stay this way. Or worse, we are more then content to never grow up ourselves. As a pastor's wife I have caught myself saying many times, "when we can all graduate from middle school, Christians will be effective." My egg list could go on and on. We poach Him, fry Him hard, and occasionally we serve Jesus over easy, so as not to offend anyone. Jesus is Jesus. He is Savior and Lord. He cannot be changed. Our descriptions hurt us, not Him. We expect lesser things from Jesus when we make Him anything but exalted in our lives. Jesus refers to us, the Church, as His bride. I think it is time we all stop running away.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

I'm back...

Hooray for us!!! We finally have the Internet at our house. I can rejoin civilization and be a part of life again. It's so funny that we moved to a huge city, but without Internet, I felt more isolated then I did in Iowa. Anyways, most of you know we weren't getting Internet until I have a job. So...obviously, I got a job. God totally set this up. I'm going to be joining Megan with Hospice. I'll be working as a PRN social worker for hospice. This is ideal for me because I get to tell them when I'm available to work. This is a huge hospice, with over 1,000 patients currently, so they need the help. They tell me that they will most likely be able to schedule me when I want to work. I'm excited and nervous. I went into social work so I could work at hospice. Now that the opportunity is here, I'm a little scared. But, I'm also looking forward to walking people through the only thing we all have in common in this life. I ask for your prayers as I learn. There are five offices, four houses, and a triage location, so I have a lot to learn. Any advice Megan???
As for being here, we are liking it. Natalie threw her first official tantrum the other day. It lasted longer then 30 minutes and carried over into three rooms. Every time I left the room to ignore her, she stopped crying walked to me so she knew I could see her, then threw herself back down and screamed. It was lovely. My mom tells me that persistence is an admirable quality to have. I'll appreciate it more when she is persistently doing something productive. :-) Chris is great and loving it here. It feels like home to him and I can tell he is good. Without corn pollen to be allergic to, he is exercising, losing weight, and moving forward. I didn't realize how bad he felt in Iowa until we were here for a while. However, to all you Iowa folks, we do miss you terribly. I still wish we could have moved you with us. I look forward to heaven for many reasons, one of which is so that we can finally be all together. I'll update with pics soon. Have a great day of worship tomorrow. God is good!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Lots of pictures






Sorry it has been so long. We've been on a trip to Iowa, West Virginia, celebrated Natalie's first birthday, and been busy with summer. I don't have long, but I wanted to put pictures on here for you all. These pictures are from Natalie's birthday party in both Iowa and West Virginia. There are also some from our zoo trip with Padre' and Nanny. Enjoy...more soon. Love you all!