Good job...

I'm so tired. I like working at hospice, but it absolutely exhausts every part of my being. Not so much the patients as the company. There is SO much to learn. It's huge. Since I'm PRN (as needed) I end up on a variety of teams. I feel like every time I work I'm doing something I haven't done before. I've been there four months and I still do new things all the time. Someone told me that full time people work there a year, sometimes, two before they feel good. I'm not sure what that means for me. I would just like to work one job where I feel competent. I'm constantly guessing what I should do there. I come home and I guess what would be best for Natalie. I feel like we've been making that up since day one. I guess about cooking, about church, about cleaning, about the dogs. My list goes on and on. I would just like to find one thing that I can look at and immediatly think, "I can do this...this is something I am comfortable with." The good news is, this all forces me to rely on God more and more and more. The bad news is, relying on Him isn't something I'm always good with either. So I've kicked around the idea of getting another job. I want to work at Starbucks. I'm thinking after Christmas, I'm getting a job that I can learn to do well. I'm working at the Gap or Babies R Us or Starbucks. People may laugh, but I'm not kidding. I want to go home at night and be done. I want to say it was a good day and mean it. I want the pound of coffee for free for being a barista at Starbucks. Did I mention I'm tired?