A busy time

I know all of us are super busy since we are now between two huge holidays. We are out of town again this weekend and we return to the madness that is Christmas. I'm praying to remember who it is we are celebrating this time of year.

And by the way, LET'S GO MOUNTAINEERS!!! I expect that you all will be cheering for them this weekend! :-)



This is Natalie assisting us with Christmas decorations, she's still not too sure what to make of all this.



And a couple of Natalie in her Christmas dress...





Finally, one that is always fun to take, she is finally still when she is sleeping...



Have a great weekend...and Merry Christmas!!!

passions-chapter one

I am getting irritated with the word, “passion.” If there is ever a point in your life that you must say you are passionate about something then the passion is gone. People should see by your actions that you are passionate. Passion is something to be lived out, not declared.

Passion is one of THOSE words. You know, the words overused and misused by Christians everywhere. One of those words we snatch out of the air and hold onto for dear life, pretending it holds the key to evangelism. Those words we hide behind again and again so we do not actually have to get out there. You have been to those meetings right? “We need to figure out what we are passionate about.” “We shouldn’t move on anything until we pray and see if this is God’s passion for our church.” “Let’s take this inventory, it will tell us what we are passionate about.” We sit and talk our passions to death. This convinces me they were never passions to begin with.

Passions are powerful. They compel us. I am always confused that we would have to determine what compels us. It’s a look backward at our life that shows us our passion. This is what bothers us. We are more comfortable believing we do not have time for our passions. We prefer to think that if it were not for real life we could be more passionate. This is a faulty thought. Something compels us everyday. Something. That something is what you are passionate about. If you are not currently acting on your passion, then it is not passion. It can’t be simply because it is not compelling us to action. Someone will counter this by stating they “have to go to work” even though they hate it. They will say this prevents them from doing something they love because they are at a point in their lives in which they must stay at their hated jobs. Then these people have to take another step backwards to find their passion. Why are they staying at jobs they hate? Does it pay the bills so their kids are secure and cared for? So this person in the hated job does have a passion. Their children compel them to work. They are passionate about their children.

We do not have to sit in a meeting or take a test to determine our passions. We are all compelled by something. Passions guide us and our actions. Passion influences every decision we make. I heard a man a few weeks ago state that he is passionate about music. This man does not participate in anything with music. He has casual conversations occasionally with musicians. He is not truly connected to anyone in the music world. Yet, he claims to be passionate about singing. What is unfortunate is this man is very involved in visiting people who are sick or dying. He is constantly checking on families and staying connected with their needs. God has gifted Him with the ability to walk with these people. They are his unacknowledged passion. He claims to be passionate about something he has no part of, yet does not recognize his gift; his true passion. Why? I have no idea.

We refer to the crucifixion as The Passion. Christ’s love for us compelled Him to come to earth. He walked with us. He wrapped Himself up in our bodies and planted His toes in our world. He saw life through eyes that were forced to squint from the sun He created. Jesus was so passionate about us. He became us just to save us. Jesus did not come to earth and suddenly decide He loved us. His love for us compelled Him to come. That compulsion for us killed Him. He is passionate about our salvation. Our salvation did not come before His passion. The Passion.

God created you. God knows how you are wired. He knows what you are made of. He gives you passions. If you know Jesus as Savior then you have Spirit led passions in your entire being, because the Holy Spirit is your entire being. Do not ever allow yourself to be fooled into thinking you are passionate about something you are not a part of. I can tell myself I am passionate about evangelism all day long. The fact is, I have not witnessed to anyone this week. I was more passionate about my family and eating than evangelism. I may want to be passionate about evangelism. If so, I need to start praying that God will compel me towards this. I will never be able to compel myself. However, before I start praying for new passions, I must look at what I am already compassionate about. I talked with some middle school girls for a while yesterday. I worked on a drama for church. I spent time with my husband and daughter. I’m passionate about family. I’m passionate about equipping believers. Maybe one of the believers God allows me to equip will be passionate about evangelism. Maybe, just maybe, our current passions are God given for reasons we don’t know.

It’s long past time to reevaluate our use of this word. Passions compel us to actions. If you do not like your current actions, you need to talk with God about your compulsions. Let’s stop pretending we will be passionate tomorrow. We are passionate today. Let’s stop acting like we all need to be passionate about the same thing. When we are truly following God, He gives us our passions based on how He carved our being. Our passions are from Him. It’s time to shred the inventory tests and put up the table and chairs. We don’t need a meeting to talk about passion. We need the author of The Passion to compel us to the actions He created us for.

almost tomorrow...

All week I've been telling myself just get to Sunday. Sunday we leave from church and hit the road for home. Neither Chris nor I have been with our parents on Thanksgiving in years. This year we have the privilege of spending it with both of our parents. Candy and Frank are driving up to join the family for a couple of days too. We are planning to have about 25-30 people eating together on Thursday. There is no where else I'd rather be. The entire time we lived in Iowa I was always so glad God allowed us to be a part of the Thanksgiving Dinner for the community. Our church held a dinner for anyone who wanted to come. It was wonderful to be a part of that. But, it was also the day I was most homesick. My family all tends to get together for Thanksgiving. They would call and all talk to us, but somehow, that made it worse. I say all that to say I can't wait for this week. We will be with friends we haven't seen in far too long, people we want to talk with, and a little girl to introduce to some of her family. Even the idea of driving up there tomorrow is appealing. Chris and I haven't really had a chance to talk all week. I'm hoping Natalie will nap for a few hours and we can catch up on some conversations. I am so blessed and so grateful. Oddly enough, a little homesick too. Thursday, when we are all gathered around our table I have no doubt my mind will travel to the mid west and I'll wonder how the dinner is going for the community. That will always be home too.
You know, we can dream of mansions and streets of gold all day long...I can't wait to be at the wedding feast with Jesus, finally sitting at the table with Him. I can picture my Iowa friends, Sweden friends, Europe friends, Milligan friends, people I've never met, family, all gathered, at last, eating from the same table. I can only imagine my anticipation for the day can not touch Christ's anticipation. He will be allowed to gather all who love Him to the table. And while there will be people present that I didn't know in this life, He will intimately know us all. Our minds won't wander anywhere. We will be home. Finally. We will be home.

Good job...

I'm so tired. I like working at hospice, but it absolutely exhausts every part of my being. Not so much the patients as the company. There is SO much to learn. It's huge. Since I'm PRN (as needed) I end up on a variety of teams. I feel like every time I work I'm doing something I haven't done before. I've been there four months and I still do new things all the time. Someone told me that full time people work there a year, sometimes, two before they feel good. I'm not sure what that means for me. I would just like to work one job where I feel competent. I'm constantly guessing what I should do there. I come home and I guess what would be best for Natalie. I feel like we've been making that up since day one. I guess about cooking, about church, about cleaning, about the dogs. My list goes on and on. I would just like to find one thing that I can look at and immediatly think, "I can do this...this is something I am comfortable with." The good news is, this all forces me to rely on God more and more and more. The bad news is, relying on Him isn't something I'm always good with either. So I've kicked around the idea of getting another job. I want to work at Starbucks. I'm thinking after Christmas, I'm getting a job that I can learn to do well. I'm working at the Gap or Babies R Us or Starbucks. People may laugh, but I'm not kidding. I want to go home at night and be done. I want to say it was a good day and mean it. I want the pound of coffee for free for being a barista at Starbucks. Did I mention I'm tired?

Miss Beth

Dear Miss Beth,

My Mommy told me that you were going to see the doctor this week.I wanted to tell you that Mommy, Daddy, and me are praying very hard for you. I also wanted to ask all the people reading this to pray for Miss Beth too. She was my day care teacher in Villisca and one of my Mommy's best friends there. My mommy still gets sad dropping me off at day care here. They take really good care of me, but you will always be her favorite...( and mine too Miss Beth.) My mommy said you have colon cancer, but that God is much, much, bigger then colon cancer. Mommy said that Miss Beth is going to the cancer treatment center in Chicago this week, so everybody please pray that she will be healed in such a way that everyone present will know God healed her. God already has you Miss Beth, I'm praying you see Him very clearly today. We all love you very, very, much.

Grace,
Natalie

39

They are both 39.

They are both female.

She has two children, 12 and 6.

She has one child in his teens.

She is dying.

She is also dying.

She was diagnosed four years ago.

She collapsed four weeks ago.

She is trying to reconcile faith of a mustard seed, with doctors who say there is no hope.

She is wresting with a whole different type of despair.

She is trying to prepare her children for a life without her.

She has not seen her son in a very long time.

She knows that no one can or will ever love her children like she does.

She knows someone else has already been loving her son.

She and I talked about faith, love, hope, and heaven.

I held her hand and encouraged her step father to talk to her, she can maybe still hear you.

She is fighting, fighting, fighting.

She has already fought.

She is dying of breast cancer.

She is dying of liver failure.

She could not have prevented this.

She has been addicted to cocaine and alcohol for as long as anyone can remember.

She needs better treatment.

She needs better treatment.

She needs to know God still loves her.

She needs to know He always has.

No one expected her to die so young.

No one expected her to live so long.

No wonder God calls death the enemy.

Death robs anyone when it is least expected.

She is ready.

I don't know if she is.

Are you?

A halloween tale

The night began with Natalie saying, "you want me to do what?"


"I'm out of here"



Okay Mom I'll let you take one quick picture...



Mommy and the bee...



Hershey's are awesome!



I know a lot of pictures, but we had a lot of fun. We went trick or treating with Robert, Emily, and Avery. I'll post some pics of Avery and Natalie together soon. Happy November and happy 16 month birthday Natalie!!!