For your amusement...

Today I had an epiphany. Okay, I'm back, I had to look up how to spell epiphany. A major realization of how much I have changed the last few years. Now in order to understand the epiphany, you must understand my day. It was a normal day for me. I left the house to meet with my first client. We discussed his daughter's health, she is 20 and they've found a lesion on her brain. I did a lot of listening. Then, my next client. She wanted to sell her TV at the pawn shop. I carried her TV out to the work van. I double check the tire that was flat yesterday. (A whole other story). We venture to the pawn shop and sell the TV. I've gotten to know the pawn shop guy recently through other clients. He is nice enough and quite talkative. My third client makes my life more interesting with each visit. I wrap up with her and start driving to group. I'm leading a group today on the benefits of laughter. My co-worker and I are eating lunch and doing final prep for group when our conversation is interrupted by a large chocolate lab in the office. He is followed by one of our most ill clients. Today he is in a motorized chair. I asked if he was there to the psychiatrist. He wasn't. We spent the next half hour chasing a dog and trying to figure out where this client's appointment is. Finally I tell him he can't have his dog at group so he leaves. About a minute went by and the phone rings. It's another co-worker saying that this client was supposed to be at an intake for drug treatment. He needs to be there in five minutes. These things are impossible to reschedule. So I step out the door to find him and tell him where he needs to be. He is two blocks down. Surely I can catch him, he's on a motorized chair. I start walking. Faster. Now I'm jogging. He's gone another block. Now I'm running. My flip flops are getting caught on the sidewalk. I'm running faster. Now I'm yelling for him and running. How fast can those stupid chairs go anyway? Still running. It's really hot. I have a million things to do. Now, I'm sprinting. Around a stop sign. Through the street. Down three blocks. And then, the epiphany. I used to be afraid of psychotic people chasing me. Now, I'm the one chasing them. What has happened to my life? I am chasing a high schizophrenic in a motorized chair down the street. His dog hears me first. The dog turns and starts running towards me. Finally the man hears me. I catch my breath and tell him where to go for his appointment. I walk back to the office. I put on my clown nose, grab a worksheet on the physiological effects of laughter and walk into the room full of mentally ill people. They are dressed in "normal" clothing, sitting appropriately and waiting for group. I'm out of breath, red cheeks, sore feet, wearing a clown a nose, wiping dog saliva off my shirt. And I thought they were the ones who needed help. :-)

Some ramblings of a tired woman...

Delta...delta...delta...
let me count the ways
Did it ever occur to you
Not to overbook your flight today?

My husband is a pastor
My daughter is eight months old
Because of your liquid restrictions
I must find a store where formula is sold.

And as we drove to Target
The taxi driver was so nice
He didn't run the meter
He just charged us 16.50 twice.

Don't worry your nice agent told us
You'll fly out tomorrow instead
Visions of Natalie in a hotel
We're dancing inside my head.

Back to the airport on Sunday
You have no seats for this plane
Look nice lady at the counter
I'm about to go insane.

Get me to Omaha now
Get me to Omaha today
This is not a fun game anymore
This is not a fun game to play

Dr. Seuss says to make it fun
We just need to say a rhyme
So thanks for the vouchers delta
we'll fly something else next time.

You can obviously tell we had a long trip home. But the real reason I'm blogging is to update you all on our little adventure last week. We think we've found a house. Well, we know we've found a house that we love, but we have to wait for all the paperwork and such. It was a long, but good week. We looked at dozens of houses, met one fabulous real estate agent, and soaked up sunshine in the city we will soon call home. We are starting to realize the level of culture shock we are about to experience. Traffic lights irritate me more then I can explain. I don't go through any on my way to work right now. Starbucks excites me. But, after signing our money away to the mortgage company, I am quite sure that I can only stand outside Starbucks and try to inhale the caffeine. Interestingly enough, for a big city, people were nicer. There is such a difference in the south. The Midwest is not unfriendly, but they don't go out of their way, telling their two boys on a crowded shuttle to stand up because she is a "lady" and that's what you do, friendly. We are nervous and excited. God is so obviously taking care of the church here. Two weeks ago, Pastor Moses, from Africa called our current church secretary, just to let her know that his congregation is praying for the church here as they look for a new pastor. They are praying in Africa. God is so very in control. And as things wrap up here, I must remind myself of that all the time. God is good. God is God. He knows His plans. It's nice to know that as we experience culture shock, we serve a God who is never shocked, by anything. Not even by my own behavior, at a Delta counter, venting to my poor tired husband. What an awesome God we serve.

a few quick pictures

Going on a walk with my Daddy, I loved it so much and worked so hard that I had to take a nap...

I am now pulling myself up on everything. This picture is of my first really good bruise. It scared Dad and Mom, but I hardly cried at all. Why would I cry? I have a million other things to discover...

This is one last pic from our snow storm two weeks ago. This is Mommy and Me beside the driveway after they dug the car out of the driveway.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers for the family I mentioned in my last blog, please continue to pray for them.



On a very different topic, we are leaving tomorrow to go house shopping. Please pray for God's guidance and wisdom as we look. Our goal is to find a nice house and one that we can afford without me working. I would love to stay home with Natalie. So we just ask for your prayers that we will be exactly where God wants us. Thanks, we love you all.

Come.

As I am typing this, I am overcome with sadness. I need to go to bed. I need to pray and read my Bible. I need to journal, so I sit here, with a modern day pen and paper. I feel sad and confused down to my core. I walked into work this morning and heard the words, "horrible accident." He was sixteen months old. His mom ran inside to get his jacket. His nine year old sister couldn't scream loud enough for dad to hear her. He raced to meet his daddy. And as his Daddy backed up into the driveway he felt the bump. He jumped out of his car and lifted his Suburban off of him. Mom came racing back outside and they started CPR. She is a hospice nurse, he is an EMT. They knew. Life flight was called, but they didn't fly. He was gone. They sat in a hospital for several hours waiting on a coroner. Friends and family congregated. Two of our workers were called. When they arrived they saw the family in the room. Mom was still holding the baby, like she would for the next several hours. I can only imagine that for her this weekend has been one long blur of a nightmare. The funeral tomorrow will have one tiny little casket that could never hold all of the hope for this little life and all of the sadness of it gone so quickly. It was a moment. A minute. A second. Sixteen months. Gone. It's so tempting to ask why. I don't even know them personally and I'm asking God why? Why, never ever gets us anywhere. We are never satisfied with any answer from that question. Answers just lead to more whys? I have to cling to Who? Who is in control? God. Who is love? God. Who holds us better then anyone? God. Who conquered death? God, through his Son, Jesus. Who is coming back to wake up the sixteen year old? God. Who gets to be with all of them forever? Those of us who are God's children; who know Him as Savior. God. I held Natalie for a long time tonight. I cried for that family. I cried for myself. I cried at my thankfulness and selfishness that it was not her. I cried at her touch, her smell, her body curled against mine. I finally made myself lay her down. I knelt by her crib and prayed over her. Who did I give her to? God. As hard as it is to imagine, He loves her more then I do. And He loves me. And He loves this hurting family. He will always walk with us, grieve with us. He calls death the enemy because it is. God is bigger. God will crush it. Death was victorious last Friday, but one day, death itself will cease to exist. Tonight I claim that for this family. For us all. God will return. We do not grieve as those who have no hope. He will raise the dead. We will be reunited for eternity. This Mom and Dad, they took their daughter to school today. They helped her explain what a horrible accident means. Who gives grieving parents the strength to do that? God. They trust Him. Please pray that He will make Himself known to them in undeniable ways for the rest of their lives. That is how long they will grieve. Unless of course, He comes back before then. And I have no doubt this Mom will hold her baby , full of life, for forever. Come, Lord Jesus, Come.

Reason 742- to stay here...

Yes, for every reason to move, there is a reason to stay. Our friend Gail, came and dug us out with a bobcat. Men were driving these things all over town yesterday digging everyone out. It didn't matter if they knew you or not, they helped. The farmers are struggling to get to their animals, the animals can't find the hay to eat, gates are covered by snow drifts. And yet, more people, helping. Other farmers who can get to hay are driving tractors long distances to help their neighbor. As Gail finished our driveway he told me he met a new family Thursday night. I asked him where? He said, "at my house, Candy (Gail's wife) brought them home from the gas station. Apparently they were stranded and were able to make it to Villisca. They were asking where the hotel is. Most of you know, there isn't one anywhere close to town. And by that point all the roads were closed. So Gail says, they had four more people plus a dog. Amazing. People just open their homes here and take in strangers. I said that to Gail and he says, well it's always fun to meet new people. So there it is, in my moment of wanting to stay here, the very man who is making me want to stay tells me why we are going. God says to, and well, it's always fun to meet new people.




Reason 743- to leave...
This is snow we got last night. The bobcats are out growling again today...

Reason 742

There is a long list of reasons we are moving. The weather is 742. We've literally been in a blizzard warning all day today. Interstates have been closed, winds are 40-50 miles an hour, snow falling constantly, and meteorologists who couldn't be more excited then children unsupervised in a toy store. We've had a great snow day. The beauty of Iowa is that the roads will probably be drivable tomorrow. Enjoy the pictures. (for the record, the one of Natalie is from a snow storm last weekend, I didn't have her out in the wind today.) :)