Cigarretes, Diesel Fuel, and Love was in the air.

When you husband is a pastor you find yourself in all sorts of unique situations. Tonight was no exception. Chris was performing an outdoor wedding. The couple proclaimed to him several months ago that it would be a "redneck wedding."
The evening started with us bundling up Natalie to be outside in fairly chilly, rainy weather. We got out of the car and my eyes settled on the groomsmen. All of them wearing camoflauge shirts with hunter orange ties. Immediatly behind them, at the "altar" were five deer antlers with orange flowers interlaced around them. That's about when I saw two groomsmen carring an elk antler up to the front to join the party. It was so big that I was afraid it would poke Chris in the butt. I had visions of trying to explain such a medical bill to workmens comp. The mood was fun and lighthearted as people trickled to the park. I listened as the father of the groom explained he would not wear any tie, but he was nice enough to wear his camo shirt and orange hat so he matched the wedding party. I saw the bridesmaids exit the camper where they got ready. They were wearing bright orange spaghetti strap dresses. One of them had jet black hair on half her head and platinum blonde on the other. After the groomsmen and bridesmaids walked up I kept searching for the bride. And just when I thought it couldn't get more entertaining, her mother drives her up in a LARGE chevy diesel engine truck. Mom gets out first and opens the door for the bride. She was wearing a beautiful wedding gown. But, I couldn't see her face, it was covered by her camoflouge veil. It looked like a bad movie. It was a mixture of wedding and funeral. When she got closer to the crowd, her mom lifted her veil off her face. She was indeed a pretty girl. Pretty interesting. And the regular pretty. She walked up the isle with her mom while her brother played here comes the bride from the picnic shelter on his electric guitar wearing his Ted Nugent hat. The ceremonty itself was uneventful. Chris didn't get poked in the bottom with any antlers and they got married. After the wedding I kept searching for a spot where Natalie wouldn't be breathing in smoke. I couldn't find one. Remember, this was an outdoor wedding. :) They rode to the reception on a flat bed pulled by a truck. They sat on hay and drug beer cans behind them. It was beautiful. The reception was complete with pork barbeque and a wedding cake where the top was the bride dragging the groom. There was orange and camo everywhere. Since the beer was flowing freely we decided to leave with Natalie before the party got too wild. We couldn't find the groom, but we were able to say bye to the bride. She stopped smoking long enough to talk. I must honestly say I wasn't listening to her becuase I couldn't stop staring at her cigarette pack. It was tucked nicely in dress right between her breasts.
If you will now join us in prayer:
Dear Father,
Please don't let Natalie remember any of this wedding. And please be with the starving pigamies down there in New Guinea. Amen.