But she's three!!!

I've had a fairly traumatizing weekend. It started with the now famous shoe request. This request seemed to come out of left field. But, I figured she saw a commercial. Then, late Saturday night, Natalie and I had our first real girl talk. We had just finished stories and were about to pray when she told me that a girl in her class (I'll call her mean girl because that's the nicest thing I can come up with) told her she could not be her "best friend." Natalie goes on to say that now that she has the same shoes, she can be her best friend.

I'm screaming in my head. "She's three!!!"

So we talk. We talk about how we can be friends with anyone. We talk about how if someone will only be your friend because of your shoes, clothes, or hair, then they will probably not be a good friend to you anyway. Natalie has a good friend in her class so I say, "well, who is your best friend?" (I'm thinking we'll talk about why and how he is nice and fun, etc). She says the name I think she will and then says, "he says I can't be friends with anyone except him."

"SHE'S THREE!!!"

So now, we talk about how no one can decide who we are friends with but us. Then after lots of love and reassurance, I put her to bed, because I'm exhausted.

Fast forward through church where she loved showing off her sketchers. Now to Monday morning when she can't wait to get to school. She was sooooo excited.

Now, last night. I get back a sadder version of my little girl. It turns out, mean girl, told her that her shoes were ugly. ( I would like to nail mean girl to the wall but that's for another story.) Natalie says her shoes are almost like mean girls, but Natalie's has a heart where mean girls does not. Natalie says she does not like her sketchers anymore.

"SHE IS THREE!!!"

I took a deep breath. Then she and I went to ride her bike. I reminded her that she really liked her sketchers yesterday and this morning. She agreed. Then she says Mean girl is smart. I tell her that she is smart too and only Natalie gets to decide what she likes and doesn't like. This appears to be a revelation to her. She likes her sketchers again.

So this morning we have a new quote at our house. It starts with a high five.

Me saying: "High five"
Natalie: "High five"
Me: " I decide"
Natalie "I decide"
Me: "what I like"
Natalie: "what I like"
Me: "not you!"
Natalie: "not you!"
Me: "just me"
Natalie: "just me"
Me: " I decide"
Natalie: "I decide."

She walked out the door saying this. I stepped back, took a deep breath and talked myself out of finding mean girl. My social work brain says she has a whole lot of problems. My mommy brain doesn't care about anything but Natalie. I look in the mirror to make sure I look alright for work. I laugh when I realize, I could stand to repeat my own new slogan. Maybe it would do us all some good....

"High five! I decide, what I like, not you, just me, I decide!!!"

For today, I do not like mean girls. Probably not for tomorrow either.

Any advice? Because she is almost four. :-)