Been a while

My good friend Megan used to blog about this phenomenon.I would always read and think there was no way it was accurate because I really enjoyed her stories. But, alas, I found this phenomenon to be true. The guaranteed way to silence any room full of people is for Megan or me to share work stores with them.

Now, it's not that Megan and I are boring people. I personally think we are rather delightful, charming, and funny individuals. But when you work with hospice, others don't seem to enjoy or find funny the same stories that you do.

The last couple of weeks I have found myself simply saying "fine" when people ask me how I like my job. It's not that I have nothing to say, I could tell them a million things. It's just that I know when I start talking, they are going to get this certain look in their eye. Then, taking note that they are visibly uncomfortable, I hurry and finish my story only to be met with an awkward silence. Nine times out of ten the silence is followed by them saying, "I don't know how you work with dying people like that all the time." I could give them my good response about how it reminds me of the importance of life, or how I really do enjoy it, but that just makes the conversation more morbid and awkward. "Fine" really works much better.

This blog may quickly become an outlet of stories as I am finding no other outlet suitable for the release of thoughts constantly in my head. I can type them and not have to hear the awkwardness of the story. And, some things in print, really are funny. Even if they are wrapped in the context of death. For example, I have a patient who is not actively dying (meaning not in the next 24-72 hours), but he is dying none the less. He has cancer and is using a walker. He is very unsteady and has fallen a lot lately. He is cute and his wife will talk more then me any day. She's also not quite grasping how ill he is. I'm visiting them a couple of days ago and she says to me, "Will you hold him up so he can reach up there and hang that vertical blind for me?" I look at the poor man, with his walker in front of him. Our eyes meet and he shrugs his shoulders like he could do it, but his eyes are screaming for me not to ask him to. I looked at her, looked at the walker, looked back at her and said, "no." She looked shocked. I told her I would hang the blind for her. I spent the next 15 minutes with a Hispanic lady wildly explaining to me how exactly to hang her blind. Graduate school does not prepare you for these moments.
Or, I could tell you about today, when I had to flush narcotic pain medication down the toilet in one of our in patient units. I picked it up from a home patient and had to destroy it at the office so I could have a witness. I poured the pills down the toilet in a stall. The toilet did not flush automatically. I can't find the button to make them flush. Many colored pills makes for one mess in the toilet. So, I do what any logical person would do. I pretend to use the toilet, hoping to "trick" it into flushing. This didn't work. I know I'm taking so long my supervisor is probably convinced I'm taking the narcotics. I try this sitting on the toilet and standing up routine several times. Does not work. I consider taking the narcotics. Finally, I find the button. Much to my dismay, after it flushes most of the pills are stuck now inside the bottom of the toilet. This is a PUBLIC bathroom in our facility. I flush again. Still stuck. I see what I think is the toilet brush and I think, I'll just move them and flush, but it was the plunger. I can't stick it in there to move tiny pills, it's too big. So, rationally, I flip it over and use the stick end to unstick the pills and flush quickly. Very satisfied that the pills are gone, I put the plunger down. I then notice the handle was orange from some of the pills. I washed my hands and walked away. I'll let people guess why that handle is bright orange. Everyone should have something to think about in the bathroom.

I know, a really long rambling blog. But such are my thoughts. More stories to come. And, some wedding pictures from Brock and Stacey's wedding, I'll put them on here it soon. It was beautiful!