God

Okay so both sides say the following,

"Well, I'm sure God is not a Democrat."

"I'm sure God is not a Republican."

The next sentence is usually, but He probably would vote (fill in party of choice here).

Here's a radical news flash.

God would not vote.

God is not an American.

But, for the record, according to scripture, God is in Independent.

Jesus and Chris

Chris wore a suit to church yesterday.

Those of you who know him needed that space to collect your thoughts, pick your jaw up off the floor, and ponder if Jax has changed him after all.

Well, yes, he has changed, but only in a moving forward, God is good sort of way. He looked great in his suit. Then he discussed how some of us feel really hurt inside. Underneath. That's when he started stripping on stage. He showed everyone his hurt. There were many gasps and laughs as he took off his jacket...



After he talked about the hurt, he stripped again. Under the torn clothes, was a t-shirt. Chris explained how Jesus still walks with us when we are torn up inside. He walks with us when we are good inside too. It was a good message. His t-shirt said,
I love Jesus.

The rest of the day he wore his suit pants with that t-shirt.

Maybe Jacksonville hasn't changed him much after all.

PS. thanks Joanne for the picture and wonderful e-mail!

New Video

The following video was cut short because the tape ran out...even with this, I simply must share it with you. Please pray for our dogs...

IT

All humans operate this way. If I keep this thought inside my head, if I keep IT (the thought) tucked far away from my mouth, then I can keep IT from being real. But, if I let IT slip, if I say what I am thinking out loud, IT may happen. I'm not sure I can handle that. Speaking IT always comes with packed emotions.

Today IT was many things. I said to him, "you have taken amazing care of your wife. You've done a beautiful job. But your own health is declining, what do you see as your options for her now?" Big, robust, man with tears finding their route through his laugh lines, said to me, "I know, she may have to go a nursing home, I may have to go to an assisted living." He cried. He told me about how they met, their honeymoon, their children, their life. He loved her so much, he said, "and taking care of her these last seven years has been my priveledge". She painted everything in their home. He admitted he felt like he would no longer have a purpose if he wasn't caring for her. My job today was to remind him that she still needed him, even if she was not in his house anymore. He eventually agreed that her face still lights up when he walks into the room. A few minutes later I introduced myself to her. No response. He came in behind me. She gave him the most beautiful smile in the world. She still knows him. Even if it's buried somewhere deep down, she knows that he is her love.

IT was also in another home. A great family to support her, but she admits, when it is just she and I, that this dying is weird. I told her that I have wondered what it must feel like to know. "You wonder", she said, "I'll tell you, it's like holding onto the edge of the cliff with just your fingernails. You don't know whether to give up and let go, or fight with all your might to climb." "It's weird." I told her that was a good description. I have a better picture in my mind. She then said,
"but I've had a great life, I've done everything I wanted, so I guess it's time."

My personal IT for the day? Could I say that out loud? I've done everything I wanted to do. How do you live a life that you can look back on and say you've done everything you wanted to? How can you be open enough to let a stranger in your home and confess you feel like your hanging off a cliff? How do you get to be that real?

That's my IT for the day. If I don't admit that I'm not always authentic then I can convince myself that I am authentic.

I'm not always authentic.

Does typing IT count?

wow

It's hard to believe it's been this long since I've blogged. Life has just been that crazy the last two weeks. I am so tired that I'm forcing my eyes to stay open, rather then closing them while I type. And...it's only 7 pm. I'm getting old. But, I'm fighting sleepiness because when Natalie goes to sleep tonight, Chris and I are playing our new Nintendo Wii. Our search finally ended yesterday at a K-Mart in Neptune Beach. We found the WII that we've looked all over Jacksonville for since Christmas. We immediately brought our treasure home and have wanted to play it all day today. Hopefully we can soon.

In other news, a group of women from our church and me took a group of girls to Revolve last weekend. We had so much fun. Revolve is sponsored by Women of Faith, but is designed for teen girls. To be honest, I think I liked it more then Women of Faith. We have endless stories, but my personal favorite is when we were leaving the arena Friday night. All of us where laughing and talking and giggling like us girls do when it's late and we're tired. We were walking down the street to the parking garage when Liza freezes. By the look on her face, I was pretty sure some guy was in front of her with a gun. The deep panic in my stomach sunk in as I looked up. She was staring at our bank of amercia parking garage...the doors to the garage were shut. The following thoughts went through my head in the next five seconds...Okay, okay, okay, why would they tell us to park there on the info if it closes??? Okay, okay, okay, how much will it cost to get all of us back to the hotel in taxis? Okay, Sabrina works for bank of america in Jax, maybe she can call someone...okay, okay, okay, Liza is walking by herself, I need to catch her.
The other adults stayed with the girls, I caught up with Liza. A man told her we just had to go through the lobby. We did and were able to get to our cars no problem. Now for the guns. The nice police officer gave us the directions and told us to keep our doors locked and windows up. As the car in front of us stopped at the red light in the ghetto, my car full of girls started screaming. There were several guys on the corner gathered together. There were several guys on the other corner gathered together. There was the nice looking prostitute on the street. My girls freaked. The guys started walking towards our car. The decibal level increased. Nicole, our awesome driver began screaming, "do not make eye contact...do not make eye contact...turn green light, no eye contact." I called the car in front of us, I heard their driver, Liza saying, "girls do not make eye contact." Emily and I hearing each other's vehicles through the phone did what any chaperone would do in such a dangerous situation...I laughed until I cried. I knew the guys were not going to touch a vehicle full of screaming girls. We were close enough that I'm sure they were laughing at us too. The light turned green and we drove to the other side of town to our safe hotel. My girls all accused me of being brave...I didn't confess to them that I tend to laugh when I get nervous or scared. We'll just let them think brave, until they read this that is. All in all it was a great weekend. One of the main speakers, Chad Eastman, did an amazing job explaining to the girls about identity. He posed one question to them and it has been a springboard for a lot of discussion this week. I'll leave you with the question,

"Girls, if you are at a party and a guy walks into the room, would he see you as a treasure or a target?"

Some pics of the weekend